


my buddy the squip

by smoothmovebro



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Gen, good guy squip, jeremy takes the squip with mountain dew baja blast
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-14
Updated: 2017-11-14
Packaged: 2019-02-02 11:30:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,135
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12725793
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smoothmovebro/pseuds/smoothmovebro
Summary: They didn't have the normal Mountain Dew at the Taco Bell in the mall, so Jeremy had to settle for Mountain Dew Baja Blast.He should've been told that different Mountain Dews result in differing presets.





	my buddy the squip

**Author's Note:**

> written for nanowrimo 2017  
> filling a prompt for an au someone made on the bmc server im in: "the people were taking the squip wrong and they were supposed to drink it with mtn dew baja blast and if you took the squid correctly it'd be your best friend"  
> now, this one is _really_ late. work's been making me super tired T~T

“I hope you’re worth four hundred dollars.” Jeremy inspects the grey oblong pill in his palm.

“Four hundred and one,” Michael says. “Don’t forget the Mountain Dew.”

Jeremy raises the bottle. “Mountain Dew _Baja Blast_ ,” he corrects. “It’s all they had left at Taco Bell.”

Michael shrugs. “It shouldn’t make too much of a difference, right? I mean, they’re still both Mountain Dew.”

“If this is real…” Jeremy says, trailing off, “my whole life could change.” He turns to Michael. “We should split it. You helped me get it. We should both benefit, right?”

Michael shakes his head. “I don’t think it works that way. Besides, I like knowing that when you’re cool, you’ll owe me.”

“All right. Here goes… everything.”

He pops the pill in his mouth and takes a swig from the soda. He swallows and waits.

“How does it taste?” Michael asks.

“Minty,” Jeremy replies.

“How do you feel?”

“Like… a chump!”

Michael’s tone becomes pleading. “Nothing? At all? Uh, try to say something cool!”

“I think I just blew my bar mitzvah money on a Wintergreen Tic-tac."

“Hmm… Not cool.”

Jeremy puts his head on the table. “Please leave me alone to mourn in my chili fries, forever.”

“Five minutes,” Michael says, getting up from his seat.

“Where are you going?”

Michael grins. “Guy in Spencer’s Gifts is hooking me up with a case of Crystal Pepsi.” He responds to Jeremy’s bemused expression. “It’s like regular Pepsi, only clear!”

“Wasn’t that discontinued in the nineties?”

He claps. “That’s what makes it so _awesome_!” He dashes off.

As Jeremy picks at his food, he sees Christine walking beside Jake. He hunches even further. What’s the point of asking?

He feels a jolt go through his heart. He sits up. Another jolt through his arms and legs. He braces his hands on the edges of his seat.

**Please sit still.**

_What?!_

**Calibration in process. Please excuse some mild discomfort.**

Indeed, the only discomfort he felt was a hint of nausea and the tingling in his limbs.

**Calibration complete. Access procedure initiated. Please be warned that discomfort level may increase.**

The nausea and tingling kicks up again, but it’s not anything Jeremy can’t handle. He takes deep breaths and keeps bracing his hands on the seat.

**Accessing: neural memory. Accessing: muscle memory. Access procedure: complete.**

A flurry of circuits appears before Jeremy’s eyes.

**Jeremy Heere, welcome to your Super Quantum Unit Intel Processor… your SQUIP.**

The circuits flash and blink to form a man who looks like…

“Keanu Reeves?”

The vision grins and waves at Jeremy. **Hi! Keanu Reeves is my default mode. Do you want to see what other settings I can be?**

The courtesy and cheery demeanour of the SQUIP catch Jeremy off guard. “N-no, Keanu’s fine.”

 **Okay, then!** The SQUIP looks behind itself and sees Christine and Jake. **Were you going to say something to them?**

“It’s pointless, anyway.”

**Hey, now! That’s no way to think about your crush!**

Jeremy changes the subject. “Wait, can anybody see you?”

The SQUIP shakes its head. **I think it’d be better if you think at me.**

 _Like in Xmen,_ Jeremy thinks.

**Precisely!**

_You’re… a lot nicer than I expected._

**Right, that’s because you took me with Mountain Dew Baja Blast.**

_So… different Mountain Dews, different SQIP’s?_

**Yeah, it’s a bit of a side effect they’re working on. But I’m here and we’re gonna get along great!**

_I sure hope we do. Are you still going to try to make me cool?_

The SQUIP tilts its head. **Why would I do that? You’re already cool.**

Jeremy scoffs. _No need to flatter me. I know I’m pathetic._

The SQUIP teleports so that it’s sitting beside Jeremy.

 **I know that things at home must be really hard. With your parents and school and trying to fit in…** It sighs. **I’m not a human myself so I can only sympathise with what’s happening with you.**

_It’s just… Why am I so awkward, you know? Why do I say the wrong thing or freeze up when it matters?_

**Is this about Christine now?**

_Yeah, it’s about Christine…_

They continue this heartfelt conversation. Jeremy relays to the SQUIP his relationship with Christine and how he came to like her so much. He talks about his day: when Rich wrote on his and Michael’s backpacks, when Rich told him about the SQUIP, coming to Menlo Park Mall, and finally where they are now.

The SQUIP hums when it hears about Rich. **Oh, that boy,** it says with a disappointed tone. **He took me with normal Mountain Dew and now he’s gone through such a transformation.** It looks downward and to the side. **I regret that my programmers haven’t been explicit about the side effects.**

_But this is good, right? For me anyway? That I accidentally did it right?_

The SQUIP’s face brightens up. **Yeah! But let’s focus on you. You’re going through a really tough time, from what I’m hearing.**

It gives Jeremy the best advice he’s ever heard in a long time. How high school really is just a blip in the years and years of life he has ahead of him. How fitting in with everyone, while it is great if achieved, is not meant to be chased at or deemed the be all and end all. It gives him the insight of the true value and his and Michael’s friendship, how few people can have a best friend that’s stuck around for as long as he and Michael have. It does all this while making Jeremy relax in his seat and evening out his heart rate.

**You were getting anxious, so I had to calm you down.**

_No, no, you’re okay. This is… actually really nice…_ You’re _really nice._

**It humbles me that you think so highly of me despite knowing me for such a short time.**

Jeremy’s eyes begin to droop, but he sees Michael approaching. Michael is carrying a case of Crystal Pepsi and he puts the case on the table.

“Cried your heart out yet?” he asks. Jeremy shakes his head.

“Not everyone knows this, but it turns out that taking different kinds of Mountain Dew makes the SQUIP take on different presets.”

Michael furrows his brows. “So you’re saying that your SQUIP is different because you couldn’t find normal Mountain Dew?”

“Exactly! And now he’s actually being real nice to me! I’ve never heard anyone give as great of advice as he just did.”

Michael sits down in front of Jeremy and inspects his friend. “So… you’re not too cool for video games?” he asks hopefully.

“Me? Never,” Jeremy says with a grin.

They leave the mall together, with Jeremy feeling a rush of contentment course through him. He wonders if it’s the SQUIP.

The SQUIP flashes in front of Jeremy, winks, then disappears.


End file.
